


call me by my name (which one?)

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Not really anything else, junhao is endgame dw, overdramatic as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 09:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13808160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: junhui loves too much.minghao doesn't.





	call me by my name (which one?)

**Author's Note:**

> this is shit, sorry

wen junhui doesn't remember when he fell in love with yao mingming.

maybe—he _thinks_ it is, anyway—it is when he first came to south korea, some place familiar but not quite. when he was introduced to his new fellow members, tongue stumbling over the foreign language that comes from his mouth and when the other boy does the same.

he feels a sort of kindred feeling with the boy known as yao mingming. they both had used each other as crutches to rest on at first, someone who spoke their beloved tongue and someone who they could trust, if only just a little. they then grow into friends, then family, then one day—

a first kiss. a first love. a first time.

at the same time, wen junhui grows into _moon joonhwi_ , gets used to the managers calling him that even though it sounds wrong, feels wrong. to lessen the blow, they have nicknames, and _mr. blue earmuffs_ sounds ridiculous but it takes his mind off moon joonhwi.

then finally just _jun_ , and yeah, he thinks he can accept that, because it's only one syllable, because it tells him that he only has to be one thing on stage, in front of the cameras, and that is _jun_.

new people come, but some leave (samuel and doyoon and dongjin, to be exact). jun is upset, of course, but he thinks he'll be alright if mingming stays. he thinks he can take on the world if only yao mingming stays by his side.

then yao mingming—

leaves. leaves with no explanation. he leaves seventeen, leaves a certain boy's heart shattered.

in that moment, everything he has come to accept all falls down, and he's wen junhui again.

 

* * *

 

then one day, a young man—a _boy_ , really—shows up at the practice room with the managers. they introduce him as _seo myungho_ , but jun knows that look of uncertainty, knows what that strong accent that comes with myungho's stuttered " _hello_ " is.

it's home.

"are you chinese?" jun asks softly in korean after the mandatory cheering from the other members. myungho doesn't look like he understands much, but the word _chinese_ makes him put his guard up.

"no, wait—" jun flails his arms around. "i didn't mean that was bad—i’m chinese, too—”

then the boy fucking _giggles_ , and his heart stutters because _what the fuck that's not good for his heart what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?_

"yeah, i'm chinese," he smiles softly, and his heart clenches because this is so unfair how is he so effortlessly _adorable_ —"what's your name?"

and he is so fucking gone he forgets that he is jun, not junhui god fucking _damnit_ —

"wen junhui," he says. "my name is wen junhui."

 

* * *

 

wen junhui remembers when he fell in love with xu minghao, but he doesn't remember when he'd _stopped_ loving another boy. a certain boy by the name of yao mingming, with cat eyes and a ever-present smirk on plush lips that he kissed once.

one day he hears a familiar shout of "junhui-gē!" and he knows immediately who it is.

they have just finished recording their comeback stage for music bank or something (he doesn't really care, he just has to nail all the moves perfectly). he stops talking to whoever was by his side and turns, frantically searching for the source of the voice he knew so well, the voice he loved and maybe _still_ loves.

a dark-haired boy barrels into his arms, and junhui is laughing, maybe crying, too, but who cares when he has yao mingming in his arms again—

 

* * *

 

xu minghao doesn’t love freely.

his heart comes with a price, his lips hold a promise, and most people wouldn’t bother with that. they would rather find someone easier, someone a little more light, a little more optimistic.

so xu minghao stays with his heart guarded and alone. and he’s happy with that.

wen junhui, though, loves with his entire being, loves the world and the people in it. minghao often wonders how much more he can love, and junhui’s heart always takes him by surprise.

and junhui, _junhui_ goddamnit, he’s determined to make everyone feel loved; junhui wants everyone to know they have a place in his heart. even if they never expect it in the first place.

so it doesn’t come as a surprise when wen junhui tells xu minghao he loves him. but when xu minghao says it back, everyone is shocked.

but love—

love, this thing, it isn’t one thing.

it’s sweet candy floss and sharp painful jealousy, silk sheets and bitter tears. it’s bittersweet, love is, and so, _so_ beautifully heart-wrenching.

it’s what makes jealousy seize minghao’s throat like an asp, squeezing until it’s hard to breathe. it’s what makes minghao turn on his heel, conversation with junhui be damned, even though he’s pretty sure junhui’s already forgotten about him anyway.

xu minghao thinks he hates love anyway.

 

* * *

 

minghao sits alone in a corner of the waiting room, silently resigned with his phone.

“i’m fine,” he had said when soonyoung had asked him to join in, seeing right through his façade. “anyone would know you’re lying,” soonyoung had sighed, but left him anyway.

the thing is, minghao had been the last to join seventeen, so he’s missed out on everything. he didn’t know any inside jokes, he didn’t know their past relationships with the members that left.

he hates being the8 sometimes.

“oh my god, remember when we were dating? we were so gross, calling each other nicknames and shit!” the boy laughs. minghao scowls; why was he so fucking _loud_?

“and when seungcheol and doyoon hyung tried to give us _the talk_ , oh my god,” junhui laughs breathlessly.

minghao storms out of the waiting room.

 _enough_.

 

* * *

 

“what’s his problem?” mingming frowns as junhui hears the door slam. junhui frowns in confusion as well, turning around to see who left.

no one meets his eyes, all pointedly looking at their phones or talking with each other. “who left?” junhui asks. “and slammed the door like that? rude,” mingming tacks on.

jihoon’s eyes slide to mingming, narrowed. “that’s not nice, ming,” he chides. “well,” mingming huffs, embarrassed. “slamming the door isn’t nice too.”

“can anyone answer my question?” junhui says again, raising his voice slightly. no one answers. “well?”

“it was minghao,” comes the reply from jisoo a few awkward moments later.

“who’s minghao?” mingming asks. he’s silenced when seungcheol shoots him a sharp look. “not the time, ming,” jisoo says softly but sharply.

“junhui,” he says. “that was your boyfriend. your very upset boyfriend. why aren’t you going after him?”

wen junhui realises he’s an idiot.

 

* * *

 

minghao blinks harshly when he realises he’s got tears in his eyes. when his efforts only produce more tears, he brings his hand up to smudge them off. he’s probably making a mess out of his makeup, though he doesn’t see what good that thought did.

“damnit,” he croaks softly. he doesn’t realise he’s speaking chinese until he hears a tentative “are you chinese?” from behind him.

a sense of déjà vu overtakes minghao, except this time it’s _that boy_ , not his junhui. “what is it to you?” he hisses, but he chokes on the lump in throat around the end, and it doesn’t have quite the desired effect.

“i mean—” the boy starts, but sighs and waves his hand. “suit yourself.”

minghao wants to be petty, scorn the boy, but all the fight leaves him when he opens his mouth. he feels too tired to do this. they stand in silence, each one immersed in their own thoughts.

“junhui’s probably still looking for you right now,” the boy says after a long time. minghao turns his head to look at the boy, and their eyes meet.

silent, furious, knowing.

the boy breaks eye contact first. “why’d you do that?” he asks, throwing a phone—probably his—in the air and catching it. “you could’ve just told him you didn’t like it.”

silence. the boy turns, watching minghao. “i—i don’t know,” minghao murmurs. “’m dumb, aren’t i? i don’t know why i lashed out when it could be solved easily.”

he looks up, and their eyes connect again. “i could have introduced myself, could’ve been friends with you, even.” he laughs miserably. “now ’ve made a fool outta myself, caused a scene and made others worry.”

minghao chokes a little, but keeps going, throwing daggers at himself, wanting the boy to say something— _anything_ —to berate him.

“now ’m in the middle of a hallway talking to the guy i was angry at. what’s this bullshit?” his voice rises higher and higher in pitch, getting more and more choked up as minghao tries to get more out.

he wants it to hurt. he thinks he’s deserved it.

“what have you done, xu minghao?” he finally croaks out in chinese.

_nǐ gàn le shí me ya, xú míng hào?_

the nine syllables hang heavy.

the boy stays silent all the while.

 

* * *

 

“well, there’s that.”

he finally speaks.

“let’s start over, eh? my name is yao mingming. i was born in 1997 in china. people say i have the prettiest eyes, so i’m very proud of them. i’d like to be your friend, xu minghao.”

he holds his hand out. minghao’s heart stumbles.

“ _thank you,_ ” he breathes.

 

* * *

 

junhui finds them in a bleach white hallway, not unlike any other. just a bleach white hallway with no decoration except for the three of them. a bleach white hallway with no particular history, just a hallway, something connecting two places.

_i’m sorry for not falling out of love with you, yao mingming._

 

* * *

 

“it’s okay, eh? love makes you do dumb things,” mingming says. “love is stupid. as long as you’re happy with junhui, that’s good.”

minghao opens his mouth, but doesn’t get anything out. “you and junhui go good together. i’m sorry, but i never really gave my heart to him,” mingming smiles apologetically at the approching figure at the end of the hallway, even though they’re out of earshot.

 _i'm sorry, junhui_.

“he deserves you, minghao. someone to love him back.” mingming grins, a bit sadly. “i was never that person.”

yao mingming turns to him.

“be careful with his heart, xu minghao.”

and minghao will.

* * *

wen junhui.

moon joonhwi.

jun.

i loved all of them.

**Author's Note:**

> if you've read this far, check out my twitter too @17caratroses!!


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